An Awakening with Jill Scott

If you remember, a few weeks ago in this post I mentioned that Jill Scott would be doing a talk here in DC at the Native American Museum. I was hyped! I love Jill Scott. All of her songs make me feel like we are having a personal conversation about our experiences. About life, love, being a woman. I love it! I love her. Every time she comes to the area I go to see her. It just happened to be that this time she was giving a talk instead of singing. I was totally cool with that. One of my daughters daycare teachers asked me what she was going to be talking about. “*Blink* *blink*I have no clue, but I’m there!” Because honestly, it’s Jill Scott! She could stand there as a piece of art and I would still be there to watch. Luv me sum her!

That night I learned a lot about Jill Scott, but I also learned a lot about myself. She talked about not wanting the fame and recognition. She just wants to sing and be herself. The fame was too overwhelming for her in the beginning so she did what many would consider to be the unthinkable – she tried to sabotage her sophomore album. Because then we would forget about her and she could just go back to loving singing and no one recognizing her. Uhh, well, too late. Also, she just happened to have that golden nugget of a song called Golden on the album. Woooo chile! Golden is my feel good song! More than that though, look at God! He basically said you can TRY to shut down the gift I gave you, but I’m not here for that. I love it! She still shined.

What most of my readers don’t  know about me is that I have a love for acting. Always have. I acted from the age of 5-24. I stopped because I had a director who was pretty emotionally abusive and it made me not want to go on the stage anymore. So now I act in my head in my living room. I memorize lines from my favorite shows. I imagine the different roles I can play. Then I stop. It becomes painful and I stop. The stage was my home. I left all of me there every time I was on it. Not acting is like living with very little oxygen everyday. It feels very weird not to act. It makes me feel a little lost. I don’t like that feeling, but the stage, the experience, it still scares me. I was reminded of this when Jill mentioned that she had to sing. Had to. Like, she doesn’t actually have a choice.

This whole talk with Jill encouraged me to strip the layers of fear and live my authentic life. Continue to grow into the me that God wanted me to be, and pursue those things that scare the crap out of me. It’s there that I’ll find the growth I desire!

If you weren’t there, I wish you could’ve been. It was pretty inspirational. Lucky for you, there’s a video of her talk available, yay!

Shout out to Curvey CEO, Danielle of Songs in the Key of Life, and Mahoganie. It was great to be in the place with you. Love your energy ladies!

Video streaming by Ustream

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Kidriffic Events for August 10-11, 2013

Hello my luvs! I honestly don’t see a lot of events for kids this weekend that I love. I usually try to post free or low cost events and I’m striking out this time. So, here’s my suggestions. Head to the Zoo because honestly, what kid doesn’t like animals? Visit a museum! I suggest the Museum of african Art or the National Museum of the american Indian. Checkout a Nats game. Goldstar.com usually has cheap tickets for the game.

As for me, I’m going outside to play soccer with Johanna before having some grown up time tonight. Have a great weekend and be safe! Oh, and don’t forget to enter my giveaway!

~JM

Separation Anxiety…or Something More?

When I had Johanna, I could only be off of work for 3 months, then it was time to find her a daycare to attend while I went back to the ho hum of my work day. Don’t get me wrong, I was ready to go back, but I wasn’t. Leaving my baby was scary for me because I couldn’t see what she was doing every minute of the day. Well, as life would have it, two months after getting back I was laid off. I saw it as a blessing in disguise. I got severance pay and then unemployment, so I was able to sit home with Johanna.For the next 15 months it was just me and her day in and day out. Towards the end of our time together, I was itching and scratching to get back to work. I felt like I was losing my identity and purpose and becoming nothing more than, well, Johanna’s Mama. This scared me. When I found a job I was ecstatic. It didn’t pay me my dream salary, but at least I was going to be productive again. But what about Johanna?

After trying desperately to find daycare’s in our price range, we finally found one that we liked. It was secure and parents dropped in all the time. The director was always there and visible. They provided meals and well rounded lessons. This was good for us, but for Johanna…

As I explained before, Johanna is an introvert. She prefers to be around those that she knows really really really well. That would be us, her parents. Other acceptable folks are her grandparents, aunts and cousins. That’s it. She suffered separation anxiety in the worse way when she first got to daycare. I mean falling out screaming! I would leave to put her stroller away and when I was done, I was still able to hear her crying in the classroom. There was no pacifying her. She doesn’t fall out that bad now, thank God, but a year later, she does still cry when being dropped off. The somewhat embarrassing part is that she is the only one. All of the kids look at her and ask if she’s ok. We can’t quite understand why she is still like this. When we leave now, she does stop crying and is just fine. When I pick her up in the evenings and ask her if she had a good day, she always yells “yes!”. So why is the drop-off still so hard? We get down on her level and tell her that we love her and we’ll be back to get her at the end of the day. Then we give her a hug and kiss and tell her bye – cue the tears and the NO MAMA! or NO DADA! We leave out as quickly as possible after that. What exactly are we doing wrong? I ask her about her day and she talks about all of her teachers and friends and she’s really happy. I don’t understand.

Is this anxiety or something more? Have you experienced this? How did you cope?

Don’t forget to enter my Back to School Giveaway here.

H&M Meets Back-To-School Giveaway!

I love H&M. I love the fact that it’s only a few doors down from me. More than anything, I love their kids department. It simply makes me swoon. And I want you to swoon too. They have a bunch of cute accessories in there and I thought it would be a great idea for one of you to send your little one off in style. So, I decided it was time for me to hold my first ever giveaway!

To enter:

  •   You MUST be a follower of my Blog thru WordPress, Bloglovin, or by Email. Leave a comment on this post telling me how you follow me, as well as your name & email address.
  • You MUST follow me on twitter.

Extra Entries:

The prizes are as follows (there will be three prizes!):

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1) A Hello Kitty Lunchbox
2) A Very cute jump rope
3) Very stylish and sparkly hair clips

Terms and Conditions:

– The winner will be drawn through the use of Random.org.
– This giveaway is open worldwide.
– Closing date for entries will be 16th of August 2013 at 9am EST.
– The winner will be announced shortly after in a blog post. If you are the winner, it is your responsibility to email me your address. If you fail to claim your prize within seven days, I will draw a new winner.

To make things easier, please comment using this structure:
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Name:
Email address:
Country you live in:
How do you follow me:
Did you tweet? If so, give me the link please:

Good luck! 🙂

~JM

Tracy Martin: What Now?

Good morning my luvs! This entry is a little different than previous ones. It’s about an awesome interview that was done. One of my best friends is a journalist. Recently she had a burning desire to interview Trayvon Martin’s parents, but their PR Rep let her know that they were not speaking to any journalist. She sent him her interview platform and once he saw it, he gave her the green light to interview Tracy Martin, Trayvon’s father. Below is a link to that interview. The Trayvon Martin case is still a very important one that impacts all of us. I’m so very proud of her for doing this interview. Her career is taking off in leaps and bounds and I am happy to take this moment to celebrate her. If you would like to read more about her, follow her blog here. Please read the article on ebony.com when you get a chance. Thank you.

 

~JM

 

 

Kidriffic Events for August 3-4, 2013

I tried posting this through by scheduling the post last night and it didn’t work, grrr. Sorry for the delay. We may head down to the Big Glen Burnie Carnival later since its from 6:30-11pm today. There are still a few awesome events to check out around town!

Elmo’s Big Bash
National Children’s Museum
When: Saturday, 10am – 4pm
Admission: $10
If you hurry you can enjoy Elmo at the National Children’s Museum as he turns 3. There will be special birthday activities as well as parades, crafts and more! 

Brick Fair
Dulles Expo Center
When: Saturday & Sunday, 11am – 4pm
Admission: $12, free for ages 3 and under
Who doesn’t like Legos? Even as an adult I love them! Head down to the Dulles Expo Center for the lego Fan Festival. Hundreds of exhibitors will be there showing off their lego techniques as well as vendors having lego related items for sale.

Fairfax County Fair
Frying Pan Farm Park
When: Saturday 9am-9pm and Sunday 9am-5pm
Admission: $25
County fairs immediately bring back the memory of funnel cakes. I can smell them as I type this! Go enjoy the rides, the games, the prizes and…funnel cakes! And since I’m an animal lover I have to say I’m jealous of everyone that goes since there will also be farm animals as well as a horse and dog show!

~JM

Fear of Social Awkwardness

To know me is to know that I am an introvert. For a long time I didn’t know what it was about me. How come I wasn’t always “on”? Why did I get really quiet sometimes when out with my friends? How come I was so socially…awkward? I wasn’t shy, but if you embarrassed me in front of people I would mentally put myself in a shell until I could privately be alone to work out my thoughts. I could party all night on Saturday, but then I was good to not go out again for another 2 weeks. When I took the Meyers-Briggs blah blah blah test, I had my aha moment. I loved learning so much about me. Okay, it didn’t exactly help me to feel normal knowing that I had one of the most unique outcomes (INTJ), but at least I knew what I was dealing with.

Now that I have a child I feel the pressure to make her as socially normal as possible. This morning a mom invited us to see a play and I was all over it! I was like yes! She didn’t even give me a date or time, but it didn’t matter. In my drive to make Johanna socially great, I will erase everything off of my calendar to make it to this event I’m sure. I keep thinking I just want her to be normal. One of my greatest fears is that she will be just like me. I don’t want her to walk around feeling misunderstood. I want people to get her and to love her. I don’t want her to feel like an outsider, or feel bad about who she is because that is what people have done to me. It wasn’t until I was 30 that I was comfortable with who I am. I’m an introvert and that is OK! It really is ok. I will never have a million friends because as introverts we don’t let people in our inner circle that easily. I will never be the center of attention because I just don’t want to be. I will never go out to a party every weekend because I need time to just be in myself and download. That’s all quite alright. However, I don’t want Johanna to feel the pain of growing up as an introvert and everyone putting their labels on you while you’re thinking “just let me be great!”.

Truth be told, Johanna is quite introverted. I would be surprised if she wasn’t because I’m one and so is my husband. It is my goal everyday to learn how to cater to her personality instead of letting society try to change her into the extrovert that she isn’t. That also means that mama has to relax too. Whatever will be will be. Whoever Johanna turns out to be is what it is and that’s ok. I need to learn not to make my own personal struggles hers.

Are there any characteristics you had as a child that you are afraid your child will have as well? What have you done to calm your fears?

~JM