Dear pregnant moms, whatever name you choose for your little one make sure you love it because I promise you that you could find yourself saying it 100s of times a day. I never thought I would say my child’s name so often and in so many different tones. Sweetly, loudly, yelling, shouting, through gritted teeth. She hears it all. Why you may ask? Johanna is spoiled. She’s very much so on the verge of being a spoiled brat. Not so much in the way of getting materialistic things. It’s more so with her getting her way and it’s terrible!
She’s gone from being assertive to being downright bossy with everyone. I’ve tried everything to dissuade her including telling her that she won’t have any friends if she keeps it up. Nothing really seems to be working and I know part of it is that it will be a process, it’s not going to change overnight. However, with this bossiness has come major attitude which pushes me sometimes to the point of not liking my child, if only for 2 minutes. It takes me a minute to shake the fact that she is not a self made monster, we did this. We played right into it and have no one to blame but ourselves.
I hate discipline. Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe in it, but I don’t like doing it. It makes me feel mean. I’ve found myself yelling a lot more than I’ve ever wanted to, but Johanna is also stubborn and tends to just be in her own little world. I can tell her not to do something 3 times and she will still do it. It is driving me insane! She knows that it is and the other day, this was her rebuttal…
“Well, Jesus cries everytime you get mad at me…”
I looked at her thinking ma’am, really? Are you using Jesus against me??? I laughed at the time, but then that made me open up my bible:
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. – Proverbs 22:15
That scripture, as well as a serious conversation with my husband, let me know that we are not doing enough. Talking is not enough for Johanna. I had even stopped putting her in timeout, which is horrible on my part. I know it sounds like I’m super soft, but I’m not. Here’s the deal – Johanna is sensitive. She has a very sweet, sensitive spirit and is the very definition of being carefree. She loves life and loves her family. She’s funny, loves to sing and dance, loves friends and parties. She is joy realized. And it’s that, the essence of who she is, that I do not want to break. I want to handle it with care. I don’t want to spank her hand and have her harden her heart. But I also refuse to let her become a raggamuffin in society. It’s such a thin line and I was having a hard time walking the tightrope. I know my fear stems from my own childhood and how my need to survive emotionally hardened me. While I know somewhere deep in my mind that I won’t ever do that to Johanna, the fear is there all the same.
So, we prayed. We pray as a family at night for the Lord to help Johanna in the areas where she struggles, and we pray separately asking the Lord to direct our path in how to handle Johanna. We have also began focusing on what the bible says a mother and fathers roles are. That means that daddy is going to step up more with disciplining her. It’s going to be a little hard for him emotionally because she’s a daddy’s girl and he loves his baby. They are two peas in a pod. But I am desperately wanting and ready to get back to being more of a nurturer first instead of a warden.
Do you have a super stubborn child? What do you do when they are disrespectful or disobedient?